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Books for Adult Adoptees

The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child

"The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child", by Nancy Verrier, is a challenging and courageous work. A book which adoptees call their "bible," it is a must read for anyone connected with adoption: adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, therapists, educators, and attorneys. In its application of information about perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding, and loss, "The Primal Wound" clarifies the effects of separation from the birthmother on adopted children. In addition, it gives adoptees, whose pain has long been unacknowledged or misunderstood, validation for their feelings, as well as explanations for their behavior. As one adoptee said, "Only one thing has caused me more pain and damage than the existence of the primal wound: the world's insistence that it does not exist." The existence of the primal wound and suggestions for healing that wound are intelligently and compassionately set forth in this book, which is fast becoming the quintessential work about the complex and life-long process of adoption. 

Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self 

Ingeniously integrating psychological and educational theories, the authors construct a model of the normal yet unique stages of adoptee development. This  groundbreaking book uses the poignant, powerful voices of  adoptees and adoptive parents to explore the  experience of adoption and its lifelong effects. A major  work, filled with astute analysis and moving  truths.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

"Birthdays may be difficult for me."
"I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family."
"I am afraid you will abandon me."
The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.
With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love.

Questions Adoptees Are Asking: ...about beginnings...about birth family...about searching...about finding peace

People who have been adopted grow up with many similar questions, thoughts, challenges, and choices, such as, "Does my birth mother ever think about me?" and "What is my real worth? Was I a mistake?" More than 70 adoptees discuss these and other adoption issues and try to arrive at answers. Sherrie Eldridge interviews more than seventy adoptees to bring your questions to light, find the answers, and create connection among adult adoptees. Discover freedom in the unity and in your unique life purpose as you realize your value in life.

Birthright: The Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birthparents, and Adoptive Parents

What happens when an adoptee decides to locate a birthparent or a birthparent wants to find a child given up long ago? How does one search for people whose names one does not know? And what happens during a reunion? In 1983, Jean A. S. Strauss was faced with these questions when she began her search for her birth-mother, and in this inspiring new handbook, she shares her experience. Strauss will help you map out a step-by-step journey that will empower and support you throughout this significant time. Brimming with important reference sources and dozens of true-life stories, this valuable resource will guide you.

Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience

The first edition of Betty Jean Lifton's Lost and Found advanced the adoption rights movement in this country in 1979, challenging many states' policies of maintaining closed birth records. For nearly three decades the book has topped recommended reading lists for those who seek to understand the effects of adoption---including adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, and their friends and families. This expanded and updated edition, with new material on the controversies concerning adoption, artificial insemination, and newer reproductive technologies, continues to add to the discussion on this important topic. A new preface and afterword by the author have been added, as well as a greatly expanded resources section that in addition to relevant organizations now lists useful Web sites.

Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness

by Betty Jean Lifton
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Betty Jean Lifton, whose Lost and Found has become a bible to adoptees and to those who would understand the adoption experience, explores further the inner world of the adopted person. She breaks new ground as she traces the adopted child’s lifelong struggle to form an authentic sense of self. And she shows how both the symbolic and the literal search for roots becomes a crucial part of the journey toward wholeness.

Adoption Wisdom: A Guide to the Issues and Feelings of Adoption

by  Marlou Russell PhD
ADOPTION WISDOM offers insight and understanding of adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. Includes chapters on Adoption Awareness, Basic Truths of Adoption, Search and Reunion, and an Ideal Adoption. ADOPTION WISDOM is a book for anyone who wants to kinow more about the lifelong impact of adoption.

Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up

by Nancy Newton Verrier  

Coming Home to Self is a book about becoming aware. It is written for all members of the adoption triad: adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents as well as those who are in relationship with them, including professionals. It explains the influence imprinted upon the nuerological system and, thus, on future functioning. It explains how false beliefs create fear and perpetuate being ruled by the wounded child. It is a book which will help adoptees discover their authentic selves after living without seeing themselves reflected back all their lives.